


Zero Escape: The Most Awkward Family Ever

by Ciccoslovakia



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games), Zero Escape: Zero Time Dilemma - Fandom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 23:32:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7734049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ciccoslovakia/pseuds/Ciccoslovakia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Zero Time Dilemma, Sigma, Diana, Phi, and Delta decided to settle down and live as a family.  What's the worst that could happen?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zero Escape: The Most Awkward Family Ever

Sigma: (leading everyone into the new house) Well here we are. I used the money from the Dcom experiment to buy this house and now we can live together like a family.

Phi: Sigma, we have over a million dollars just from the Dcom payments, why did you have to buy the blandest looking house in the middle of the suburbs?

Sigma: Because we’re a family now, and I want to have a normal family life. I spent forty five years in a gigantic warehouse on the moon with a Akane, my clone son, and a robot based on your mother. The isolation was horrible. Every day I wished I could see the world, contact other humans, live a normal life. I wanted-

Phi: I didn’t ask for your whole life story Sigma.

Sigma: Do you think you could start calling me dad?

Phi: I would sooner go back to the bunker.

Diana: That’s no way to talk to your father.

Phi: Sorry mom.

Sigma: So you’ll call her mom but not call me dad? 

Phi: What can I say, I like her more.

Delta: It’s okay, I like you dad.

Sigma: Delta, no amount of sucking up is going to make you ungrounded.

Delta: But dad, I did it all so you could meet mom and have me and Phi.

Sigma: No buts, go to your room.

Delta: You can’t send me to my room, I’m the leader of an entire cult.

Sigma: I’ll give you to the count of three.

Delta: You can’t be serious, dad. 

Sigma: Read my mind and tell me I’m not. 1…2…

Delta: Fine, I’ll go. But in another timeline I bet I didn’t. 

Sigma: Well no matter what timeline you’re in, I know you’re still grounded.

(Delta goes upstairs.)

Phi: Speaking of which, where’s my room.

Diana: Actually Phi, we thought that you and Delta should share rooms. Just like brothers and sisters do.

Phi: WHAT! You’re making me share a room with that asshole who made us kill each other.

Sigma: Don’t talk about your brother that way.

Phi: Screw you Sigma, I hate you.

Diana: Phi, please just calm down.

Phi: I am calm!

(Phi storms off upstairs.)

Sigma: Maybe this wasn’t a good idea after all.

Diana: (Comforting Sigma) No honey, it’s just a little bit rough. We all have had completely different lives. Yeah, this is a little weird, especially since Phi is not much younger than us, and Delta over one hundred years old, but we will make it work.

Sigma: I just want to be a better father than I was to Kyle. I was too distracted making the ambidex game to actually raise him right, and I just feel like now I have another chance to be a good father.

Diana: You’ll be a great father; it’s just going to take some work. And you have me to help you every step of the way.

Sigma: Thanks Diana. I love you.

Diana: I love you too.

(Diana and Sigma kiss)

Delta: (Peering downstairs) Ew. 

Sigma: Delta! I told you to go to your room.

**Author's Note:**

> A funny little idea I cam up with. I wanted to think of them all trying to live a normal life in the suburbs. Not sure if I will write more, but it was fun to write this.


End file.
